FULL CIRCLE…
by Tess M.
As fall season slowly comes to an end, I am once again reminded of how fast time flies. It seems like it was only yesterday when I was saying goodbye to family and friends in Manila, and yet I believe after this month, it will be my second Christmas away from home. It has been a year and two months to be exact. I have come more than "full circle"
So fast is the changing of the seasons, I hardly recognize that I and my husband have successfully survived our first year as married couple. Shame! I have barely mastered my cooking skills, and yet, by tradition, here we are officially “honeymooners no more”. As disappointing as the latter may sound, I heard a word of consolation from my husband's Best Man who told us that our first year anniversary marked a milestone in our matrimonial life. He explained that first year is monumental in every union for it can be the most difficult part of newly wed’s adjustment. It was different from what I heard from Filipino married friends who said it was actually the “seven years itch” that is indeed challenging, but hearing it from a man who has been divorced twice, I guess I am not in the position to neither object nor argue his conclusion.
When I was still single and, so to speak, on the verge of combined confusion and uncertainty whether God’s final verdict for me would be to become a religious celibate nun and or ordinary celibate layman, I decided to research about possible causes of marriage breakdowns as my topic for my thesis in my graduate studies. As a Development Communication major, I defended my rationale for choosing such topic by arguing that development comes from a progressive society. However, we cannot expect a developing culture to move forward when broken homes and unhappy family continue to negatively affect our children: the moral fiber of our society. My argument was accepted and my research topic was approved. However, unknown to anybody, and what I didn’t reveal until this time was, besides my noble intention of “preserving family”, I was unceasingly begging God for His mercy to find me a husband, so I would not die celibate after all. Faith never fails, it worked!
The results of my research study disclosed that many couples surprisingly ended up in separation, despite their strong love for each other, because of reasons such as wrong definition of marriage and lack of knowledge and or ability to make a relationship. During my survey I finally confirmed that majority of single men and women have almost the same criteria in finding a partner. Education and financial stability are among top in the list. Although I learned enormously from said research work, I still fully accredit my success of finding my wonderful husband to God’s miraculous work. I realized that no matter how much I plan my life, only God has the power to make my aspirations happen: I can prepare, I can act, I can pray, but only God can answer!
I have come full circle. From my role as a former spinster-researcher who was privy on why marriages break down, I have finally come to my chance to make mine – my answered prayer – whole and everlastingly happy. Although I understand that we are just starting our journey and still have a long way to go, I am confident that with God’s grace, the best is yet to come…
