Building a Relationship (A Wife's Journal)

Posted by TM

When I started going out with men in my 20s, I remember my sister always advising me to grab every opportunity to hang out in mother’s kitchen so I could master the art of cooking. She explained that it was imperative because, as popular adage goes, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Stubborn as I have always been, instead of studying recipes, I spent more time praying to God to find me a wonderful man whose taste for a woman had nothing to do with his palate. I bet it was a hard request because it took God two long decades to answer my prayer.  

Although I do not disagree with the said popular axiom, I cannot  say that it is true for everyone. After all, there’s an exception to every rule. After being married to what I call my GG, short for God’s Gift, what I found true (at least for me) is that the way to a man’s heart is through his source/s of joy and inspiration.  But do not get me wrong. Like many men, my husband also loves eating - American foods, to be specific. Among his favorites are his personal homemade hamburgers, steak with French Fries on the side, chicken wings dipped in his favorite barbeque sauce, Frog Pond’s hangover omelets, and Hurricane’s grouper fish sandwich. However, I noticed that although it is important for him that I pay attention to his gustatory satisfaction, it matters more that I find time sharing with him his passions that speaks to his pleasures, such as: biking, watching science fiction and comedy movies, cheering for his favorite baseball team, listening to political debates and engaging in some intellectual discussion (he is a hard core news junkie!), and last but not the least, viewing police and detective shows.

Since I do not share all these interests that make his heart race and content, I must admit that sometimes it is difficult for me to sit still without getting fidgety, but still - I join in and share with him his delights and or even disappointments; like how he patiently listens to me when I talk to him about my interest in fashion, home décor, and romantic films, even if they do not really make sense to him. Perhaps this is the reason why they say successful relationships are hard work. Although of course, it can also be a bed of roses. But again, like any garden, it does not happen without many days of cultivating, tending, watering, and tilling. SHARING is what pegs out our happy meter needle. When I give to my husband and he to me, we send a message to ourselves that our presence to each other makes all the difference - and that what makes us feel great about being husband and wife, and our wonderful marriage a joyful ride.  

                               

                         'The love in your heart wasn't put there to stay; love isn't love until you give it away." (borrowed quotation)

KEEPING TRADITION
Posted by TM

To keep the flame in marriage always blazing, some married friends asserted that keeping tradition at home further binds the relationship between husband and wife.  Thus, soon enough we decided to let its magic works on ours as well.  

Our celebrations usually are not extravagant or grand. On the contrary they are otherwise.  What matter to us is that we keep our tradition consistent with a lot of creativity ingredients to make it fun, exciting, and memorable – something we can look back and laugh when our hair starts turning to silver and our eyes casting towards the “departure” board.

Make Believe 

Our Thanksgiving Day celebration will never be the same without our chef's dress up gimmick. The pretense gives an added thrill not only to our food preparation but also to the ultimate joy of sharing our festive meal   

Out of the Box 

Our exchange gift on special ocassions is always a guess what game. I thought my husband's H1NI/Flu shot gift (OUCH!) on my recent birthday was something unbeatable in terms of being prolific. He called it tough love; I said, it's two birds in one shot! But in fairness he always gives me other nice gifts too.

Post-Its

On our first Wedding Anniversary, out of desperation on what gift to give my husband, I wrote sweet messages for him. I woke up and crawled quietly out of bed at 12 midnight and started posting them in places he would go first thing in the morning. He was really surprised and was touched by the idea.

Love Touch 

On Valentine's Day I made flowers out of foam paper and pipecleaner for him. They  gave a personal touch on my not so expensive chocolates and card.

"We can only learn to love by loving" - by Iris Murdoch